Who pays the Bridal Party expenses?
The bride, the groom, and their attendants. Bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl and ring bearers
Is there a rule of thumb for the hotel rooms and other expenses for your bridal party?
There is no set rule regarding who pays for what expenses the bridal party will incur.
You don’t need to pay your wedding party’s expenses. Not even for the out of town guests. Unless you can afford it, you are not required to pay for either their trip nor for their hotel rooms. It would be a nice gesture if you did, but it is not mandatory.
If you’ve can afford it and are willing to do that, it would be much appreciated I’m sure!
If you cannot afford to pay everyone’s hotel accommodations you can still do all of your out of town guests
a great favor and save them a lot of money. HOW?
Hotels REALLY drop their prices for blocks of rooms, even if the reception is not held at the hotel.
So, negotiate! You may be pleasantly surprised at the results. If the hotel management will not work with you,
go and negotiate with another hotel.
We posed this question to brides and grooms who recently married or will be married soon.
Tina wrote:
Most of my bridal party is coming in from out of town and I am not paying for either their travel expenses or their rooms, with 2 exceptions:
Though she would never have asked us to do so, we will pay all expenses including accommodations for my maid of honor who works very hard for little money, and could neither be my maid of honor nor attend the wedding if she had to pay her own way, without getting into debt.. We are paying for her travel expenses and for her hotel room but she is paying for her dress, shoes, etc.
We will also pick all the travel and 3 days hotel stay for one of the groom’s men. Both of his daughters are our flower girls, so we are paying for the family to travel for the wedding. They will be spending so much money on us as they purchase their wedding attire and to be a part of the wedding that we knew money was going to be tight. The rest of the bridal party is paying their own travel and hotel rooms.
In addition to the appreciation gifts they will receive from us, we will pay for the bridesmaids hair and make-up to be professionally done on the day of our wedding. This gives us the bonus of having all of together getting ready the morning of the wedding!
Betty Wrote:
I booked a block of rooms at the Marriott off season. I negotiated with the hotel manager an extreme discount for my guests. The starting rate for a king size room at the hotel is $179.00 per night with breakfast included. Our wedding guests will pay only $79.00. The rate for the same deal but for a double room with breakfast went from $189.00+ to a mere $89.00. There are some great deals to be found and your guests will appreciate your efforts and their savings.
IMPORTANT! If you don’t ask,youdon’t get.
My fiancé, – negotiated with the hotel manager that we got results which truthfully were more than we expected. If you want results, insist on talking with the manager or the highest ranking person at the hotel administration and no one below him. You also must be willing to negotiate.
Joanne Wrote:
Earlier etiquette dictated that since they come from afar to be with you, brides and grooms were expected to “Host” their guests, and pay for their local expenses. Things have changed, and today you definitely are not expected to pick up their tabs. But if there is someone who really wants to attend your wedding, but can’t afford it and you can, then paying for them, is a nice and highly appreciated gesture.
I only had an MOH and 1 BM and I paid for their hotel rooms mostly because I knew it would be a real stretch for them financially, to the point where they probably would have had to say no to the trip. I used to work in the bridal industry and I have always heard that it is proper wedding etiquette to pay for the wedding party’s hotel accommodations. It is not your responsibility to pay for their travel expenses or wedding attire but the hotel rooms, in my opinion, yes it is your responsibility. When I got married everyone in our wedding party was in college so we knew they were all strapped for cash. So we paid for their attire, shoes, jewelry, and hotel accommodations for 2 nights. I did not pay for the hair and make-up for the bridesmaids but I gave them the option of getting it done. I did not care if they paid to have that done professionally.
Lisa attended a wedding and her advice is:
If you choose not to pay for anything, be considerate and keep the wedding party’s cost minimal. This weekend my husband is in a wedding and the groom picked out the most expensive tux in the tuxedo shop, a hotel room at an expensive luxury hotel and wants us to go out to eat at an expensive restaurant for lunch on Friday and breakfast on Saturday for which everyone will pay for himself and his family. The bride and groom are not paying for any of this. In addition to the tux, hotel and restaurants we had to pay all our travel expenses, as well as a babysitter for our two children. It is going to cost us a fortune. I am sure that my husband would have declined being in the wedding party maybe even going to the wedding if he knew it was going to be so expensive. We decided to stay at a different hotel than the others and probably skip out on the expensive meals. We just cannot afford this extravaganza. This put us in a funny (not so funny) situation where we are worried that the newlyweds will take it the wrong way and think we are being rude.
Brenda did some research on the topic and this is what she wrote based on her findings in Bridal Guide:
“You are not responsible for your attendants’ travel expenses. However, you are responsible for their accommodations and should make arrangements for your out-of-state attendants to stay with you, another member of the wedding party or any friends and relatives who graciously offer a room in their homes. It is probably a good idea to discuss travel costs with your traveling members of the bridal party beforehand so that there will be no misunderstandings about finances later on. If the travel costs will be too much of a burden for any of them and you want their participation, make your contribution to their expenses a gift for participating in your wedding.
Michell Wrote:
I live in upstate New York. My best friend who is getting married in Los Angeles California, asked me to be her bridesmaid and my son to be a ring bearer. I sent her my love and thanked her for the honor but had to decline as I could not afford the associated expenses.
My friend refused to accept my reply. She, or rather her family who knew me since early childhood, surprised me. They sent me flight tickets and offered me and my family to stay at their home for the duration. So, I was a bridesmaid and my son was a ring bearer at the most wonderful, intimate wedding.
Please share your experiences as either the wedded couple or as a bridal attendant.
Thank You!
